In Memoriam
Alan Mackin
Since 2008, Alan Mackin has devoted himself to making music. He aims to help the world by composing music, for not only making himself known but also making more things understood by the world.
–Alan Mackin, 2017
About Alan Mackin
Alan Mackin (26 December, 2001 – 21 December, 2020) was an Hong Kong songwriter.
Born
26 December, 2001
Repulse Bay, Hong Kong
Died
21 December, 2020
Cambridge, England
Citizenship
Canada
Hong Kong
Britain
Music Career
Also known as: Wheat (Chinese: 小麥）
Genres: Pop, Classical, Dance
Instruments: Piano, Guitar, Drums, Violin, Harmonica, and Keyboard
Music Career
Born with a Melody in His Heart
Alan Mackin was born in Hong Kong on 26 December, 2001, with a melody already playing in his heart. From a young age, he displayed an extraordinary interest in music. At the tender age of six, he began taking piano lessons, and as his skills grew and his understanding of music theory deepened, he began to experiment with improvising his own unique melodies.
By the age of eight, he had even composed a piece titled Teacher-Student Friendship via Music for his music teacher who was about to complete her internship. As he grew older, he also began to compose his own songs, inspired by the popular music of the time, including Looking at the Sea and Happy Ever After.
A Journey of Self-Expression through Music
Alan's unique childhood experiences, marked by the absence of his father and mother, led him to develop a habit of using melodies and arrangements to express his innermost emotions.
On 22 June, 2014, Alan Mackin released his first personal album, I Am Telling You (also known as Yi Zi Jing: The Book of Songs in mainland China) through the internet. The album features eight purely instrumental tracks: Spring, Bitter Memories, Fight, Forever, The Teacher, The Moon, The End, and Wait For. While these songs may seem rudimentary by today's standards, they represent Alan Mackin's heartfelt efforts to "express his innermost emotions," despite the lack of music production experience and harsh working conditions he faced at the time.
Beyond Tradition: Embracing New Sounds
In the following years, Alan Mackin traveled to various cities around the world, including Hong Kong, Taipei, Singapore, and Vancouver, continuing his studies while also learning new instruments such as guitar, drums, and violin. These valuable experiences further enriched his understanding of arrangement and composition. In 2016, he decided to venture beyond traditional instruments and explore the realm of electronic music production.
On 1 June, 2017, he released his first electronic music EP, Earth. The EP features mostly upbeat dance tracks, reflecting his desire to move away from his previous melancholic tendencies. The EP opens with the track Unleashed, setting the tone with its grand soundscapes.
2018: The Year after Unleashed
However, in 2017, after experiencing life events that few his age had encountered, he was diagnosed with depression. This diagnosis marked a turning point, leading him to focus on his mental health and seek treatment.
Despite the challenges he faced, Alan's passion for music remained a constant source of solace and inspiration. During this period, he poured his emotions into his songwriting, creating a collection of works that reflected his inner turmoil and resilience. These works included the EP Bitter Memories, the single China, the EP Wait For You, and the single Night Shift.
The centerpiece of the EP Bitter Memories, released on 4 April, was the title track Bitter Memories 2018. This reimagined version of the classic song from four years prior marked the beginning of a journey into Alan's personal memories. The song takes listeners on an emotional rollercoaster, from the freedom of strolling through city streets at night to the fantastical visions of a dawning sunrise, from the wistfulness of revisiting memories and the confusion of dreaming about the future. As the dream fades, Alan gently pulls himself away from his recollections and back into reality, perhaps with newfound insights.
Released on 12 August, Wait For You expresses a different set of emotions: longing, anticipation, and hope. The Chinese titles of the three songs are particularly poetic: cherry blossom trees in full bloom, gentle raindrops on wind chimes, and whispers under the starry night.
As 2018 drew to a close, Night Shift emerged with its warm, flowing melodies, aiming to usher in sweet dreams and good fortune for all. Whenever Alan hears this song, he felt like being transported back to the nights spent traversing the city by bus or tram. The song incorporates sampled airport sounds, weaving them into the fabric of the music to create a unique auditory experience.
It's quite interesting that every time I work on each EP, I always end up removing one song. These are probably the songs I'm most satisfied with, as I feel that my current abilities are far from enough to produce them to the perfection I envision. So, I'll just put them aside for now, polish them up slowly, and time will tell.
–Alan Mackin, 2018
2019: The Waning Light
Indeed, Alan removed In Harmony's Embrace from Bitter Memories and A Prelude to the Delight from Wait For You. This pattern continued in his 2019 work, with Beauty and the Beast being removed from Dandelion.
All the tracks in Dandelion are named after fairy tales. The Little Mermaid conveys the message that true happiness may not always come in the form we expect, but it can be found in embracing our true selves and pursuing our deepest desires, as exemplified by the mermaid's tragic love story. The Little Match Girl, on the other hand, warns us from the girl's perspective that compassion and empathy are essential for creating a just and equitable society where everyone has the opportunity to thrive.
As Alan Mackin gradually became acquainted with society, he grew increasingly disheartened by the social upheaval that his homeland, Hong Kong, was undergoing. When the seeds of hope were trampled upon time and again, despair and helplessness transformed into a driving force for his creativity, compelling him to contribute to his community. This is how Future came to be.
What is our Future?
I cannot see it.
I see people crying in the dark,
I hear people shouting in the abyss.
Please,
Please let those tears become Venus after the sunset,
Please let that shouts become roars in the thunderstorm.
That will be the lightning break through the night.
And,
After the dark,
Future comes with the dawn.
–Alan Mackin, Future, 2019
The Last Days: Loneliness, Unease, Contradictions and Pains
In a 2020 Apple Music Artist interview, Alan Mackin stated, "I am sincerely grateful to my sister – she is my most powerful spiritual support on my path. She brings me all my memorable moments." Indeed, his sister once used "Watching Snow at the Lake-eye Pavilion" as her online alias. Alan Mackin, who loves his sister, composed a song of the same name based on Zhang Dai's classical Chinese essay of the same title, and released it online on 30 June, 2019. In addition, Alan had planned to release a new version of I Am Telling You with re-arranged and produced tracks in 2024, coinciding with the 10th anniversary of the album's release. He even released the newly produced single Fight on 12 December, 2019, as a pre-release. Unfortunately, we would never get to hear the entire new album.
To Moon is Alan Mackin's most cherished single. It includes two versions: a full-instrument version and a piano-only version.
"I am aware that this melody, devoid of catchy hooks, will be drowned out by the multitude of trendy tunes. I am merely grateful that you were here, that you once listened to this schizophrenic's fantasy in the stillness of the night. Thank you." Alan left this message on every To Moon disk. At that time, Alan Mackin was still battling depression, but his condition had not improved. Despite his personal struggles, he found solace and purpose in creating art that resonated with others.
The old man in Alan's writing is a reflection of his own inner turmoil and contradictions: he is fearful and uneasy, lonely and yearning for a confidant, yet he also desires solitude. The full-instrument version ends with the old man breaking a glass, all the instruments suddenly stop, as if time is frozen at this moment, and then brings people's thoughts back to reality; while the piano-only version continues to tell the story of the old man's moment of confusion after regaining consciousness, and the huge difference in the feeling of his heart at the end of the peaceful night and the end of his memories. This is exactly what Alan Mackin finds most painful yet difficult to express.
The melody swelled, emotions surging. It seemed as if he was pouring all his regrets and misfortunes, his loneliness and sorrow, into the black and white keys beneath his fingertips, bestowing them upon the clear moon. He surged, he soared, his arms flailing, his hair whipping, in a dance as primal as humanity itself.
–Alan Mackin, To Moon, 2020. English Translation by Dexter Mo
The Final Trial
In the spring of 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic broke out. Alan penned the charity song Words To Wuhan to cheer people up and released it alongside his new work Let's Latin. Prior to that, he released his annual re-recorded version of Bitter Memories 2020 as promised – this marked the third time the song had been rearranged since its two rearrangements in 2017 and 2018, and also the last time it was reworked and published by the artist himself. The 2020 version was more deeply influenced by his personal experiences and emotions, with a heavy, slow tempo and a somber, dark tone.
During his stay at home, he experienced a change of heart and experimented with a new dark-style dance track titled Satan's Fantasy. This was also the last song Alan Mackin ever composed.
Best wishes and dreams.
–Alan Mackin
1
Describe one of your earliest musical memories in detail.
I am really grateful for the opportunity to learn piano: that was the very time when I understood that music could really change my life.
3
Find a song of yours that you love and tell us what makes it special. Tell us why you chose this song.
To Moon
I have to admit that the production of this song is not that sophisticated, but it is one of the works that I pour the most emotion into. It tells the story of an artist venting his emotions and balancing his lives, and he is everyone.
5
Is there anything left on your bucket list as an artist?
There is a saying in Chinese called "Life is bitterly short". I wish I could bring the best wishes and dreams to others as much as possible within my "bitter and short" life, haha.
2
What are your top 3 all-time favorite songs, and why?
Beyond, Sky
Ludovico Einaudi, Monday
Leslie Cheung, I Am What I Am
Beyond cheers me up, Ludovico Einaudi calms me down, and Leslie Cheung teaches me how to be myself.
4
What’s one of the most memorable moments in your career so far?
I am sincerely grateful to my sister – she is my most powerful spiritual support on my path. She brings me all my memorable moments.
Alan Mackin and his music have touched the lives of many. As he said, he wanted more voices to be heard by the world and more attention to those who need care to be paid. We also believe that those who have read this far will join hands with Alan Mackin and us to make more people face up to mental health and social problems, and be more optimistic and stronger.
We all need help sometimes. When things happen, you don’t have to go through it alone. Visit #INeedHelp, a Mackin website that lists organizations which can provide support, or contact your local agencies as soon as possible.
Remembering Alan Mackin
Alan Mackin